This Will Either Make You Or Break You
Gratification: Instant & Delayed
So, something that drives most people, that quick rush of dopamine, adrenaline, those fluids and juices running through your brain that give you a high. Everyone wants gratification in life, well this is something that we as a species are driven by. But it all balls down to how we achieve it. Gratification can be achieved by eating an entire cake or working out for six months each day to build a chiseled body. Depends on how you want to achieve it.
Instant Gratification
Instant gratification is the term I’m going to address first. This quick rush is so readily available to us because of the convenience of everything around us. This ranges from eating a burger or a cheesecake to receiving likes & comments on Instagram. We all find ourselves distracted so often and this is one of the major reasons for it. Receiving gratification has become so easy we don’t want to work for it. Well, it’s a natural human urge to want good things and want it NOW.
I am this person that gives in to instant gratification. Freud says it’s my age to do so. Younger people with lesser life experience are more likely to give in. But, it has been very overwhelming in the past. The quick gratification has been hindering my ability and potential to work towards my long-term goals. Attending a party and boozing sounds so much better than working late and developing a new skill. Uploading a picture on Instagram is sounds so much easier than working hard and being rewarded for the work. Well, the high is the same.
Your environment is a major influence on this because if your peers are doing the same, you won’t feel that you’re doing it and achieving it the wrong way. With the convenience to eat junk food and readily available gratification through social media, you just wouldn’t wanna work hard. Do you feel me? But, you do see everyone around you doing it so it feels normal to do so. But, it is not. Not if you are looking to achieve something meaningful from your life.
We often see the people who influence our thought pattern, whoever it may be for you, posting quite a lot on social media to get their message across. What we see is a five-minute video or vlog of about 10 years of work and dedication and we thus feel empowered after watching the video. That’s the time when at least my brain goes like, “YES, I AM F*CKING GONNA WORK TOWARDS MY GOALS”, then the next second I see a picture of a fitness influencer I follow and my brain goes like “YES, I’M GONNA BE RIPPED”. Don’t tell me that’s just me? I feel just being on social media gives me a hundred ideas and motivates me at least a thousand times a day. But, I act on my goals thrice a week. All this is a result of Instant Gratification, research shows (probably the research I did on myself) that watching these videos give me the same high (or more) as I get by actually doing the work. This phenomenon keeps you distracted and makes you scroll more for that high. This convenience of media has made us overstimulated.
On The Flipside: Delayed Gratification
This is the good part, don’t worry, I won’t leave you in distress. “Delay of gratification, the act of resisting an impulse to take an immediately available reward in the hope of obtaining a more-valued reward in the future. The ability to delay gratification is essential to self-regulation, or self-control.” It’s like watching that fitness influencer talk about his ab workout routine, not scrolling to the next thing which probably is Kendell Jenner with her new Tequila, and go do the ab routine and be consistent towards your goal.
This is something that beats distraction. Patience. Self Regulation. Self Control. Fuck Yeah. Basically, don’t give in to your immediate temptations. It is difficult at first. It is really difficult if you’re used to easily giving in to your temptations of excessive usage of social media, eating junk food often, and giving in to your cravings for sweets. But the realization of the bigger goal needs to kick in.
Studies have shown (legitimate studies), that people with better self-control will achieve more in life in terms of their work and are less likely to get into substance abuse. There’s an entire experiment about it conducted by Stanford professor Walter Mischel that blew my mind. This test was conducted on kids age 4–5. The researcher told the child that he was going to leave the room and that if the child did not eat the marshmallow while he was away, then they would be rewarded with a second marshmallow. However, if the child decided to eat the first one before the researcher came back, then they would not get a second marshmallow. So the choice was simple: one treat right now or two treats later.
The researcher left the room for 15 minutes.
As you can imagine, the footage of the children waiting alone in the room was rather entertaining. Some kids jumped up and ate the first marshmallow as soon as the researcher closed the door. Others wiggled and bounced and scooted in their chairs as they tried to restrain themselves, but eventually gave in to temptation a few minutes later. And finally, a few of the children did manage to wait the entire time.
As the years rolled on and the children grew up, the researchers conducted follow-up studies and tracked each child’s progress in several areas. What they found was surprising.
The children who were willing to delay gratification and waited to receive the second marshmallow ended up having higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, better social skills as reported by their parents, and generally better scores in a range of other life measures. You can read the entire study here.
Well, yes. It’s that prominent. This study talks about a time where there were barely any distractions compared to the time that we live in. At the same time, we have access to the right information, knowledge & resources to achieve our goals. It is about how you use the technology we have access to.
To get rid of your bad habits, replace them with habits you want to develop. For each time you feel like opening Instagram which is an automatic reaction where without having to put much thought you open it (at least in my case) be conscious about every time it opens. Question yourself as to why you’re on it and if you can’t find a reason, just log off, pick up a book, or open medium in your free time. That’s what I have replaced my habit with. It’s easier said than done. It has taken me a long time but I have been able to cut my average daily Instagram usage from four hours to a straight one hour by just questioning myself as to why I’m there. Replacing my “bad” habit with a “good” one where I gain some knowledge and perspective. I also felt that Instagram isn’t as bad, but it’s the overstimulation that causes toxicity.
Another example of this is eating dessert. It was again a habit or more of an automatic reaction of me going to the fridge to get dessert post-dinner. By consciously registering this as a bad habit, where I feel crappy after eating that piece of cheesecake I replaced that habit with making myself a cup of boiled green tea. This makes me feel awesome before I sleep, as I feel I didn’t give in to any temptation and did something good for myself. This may even reduce your stress levels to an extent. This is simple to achieve but not easy. This requires a conscious effort, a strong motive & consistency. Set your goals right.
All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and so gorgeous at the end. Be patient to achieve your long terms goals. In this impatient world where people want everything NOW, the ones who wait for it and put in the work will achieve the most.
